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Dorothy Carson and David
I only remember my mom  crying, two times. The first was when my older brother, who she often referred to as ‘her first born’, left home. We were living in Florida, and my brother Bob had decided to drive to California with a friend. He had just graduated high school. I remember Mom standing near our kitchen, and crying as he left the house. The other time was 7 or 8 years ago, when after dinner, my son Luke, stood up to clear his plate, and told grandma, who was already in the kitchen cleaning up, "grandma, that was the best meal I've ever had,”  and my mom really teared up.  As long as i can remember, she cooked and cleaned relentlessly for us, all those years, and never asked for help, or complained.  (and it's surprising to me now, how rarely any of us  ever offered to help, not that she would have accepted). I sometimes simi joke and  say i don't cook because we were not allowed in her kitchen when mom was cooking. But so more than the cooking and cleaning, it was  the steady reassuring calm, love, and enjoyment for life she shared so generously.  She had a smile for everyone, always.  She so enjoyed to talk with everyone, and always had the time for them, be it a clerk in the store, the bus driver, a stranger waiting  in line with her, Everyone.

And her spirit. i remember one time when it looked like none of us kids or grandkids would be with her at christmas, and she said to my dad, "well lets go to Tahiti!,"  tho she never made it to Tahiti, she would have loved it, and its people, like she did wherever she went. and the people would have loved her right back.

Another time when she and my dad were thinking of buying what might be their

last new car she proclaimed, “Well if its going to be our last, lets get a red one!”

She once told me she could never fall alseep until all her family was in the house at night.....

It's funny sometimes the things we remember from so long ago, i still remember her telling me to move back from the tv i was watching the Beatles on for the first time,, on the ed sullivan show, in black and white. she thought i was too close to the screen, and as usual, she was right.   i remember getting a letter from her saying the family dog, originally a gift to my sister, had been run over. “Punky is gone”  she wrote...and she flew back to help out when my dad's mom died suddenly.

When ola and i resaid our wedding vows in the rather dreary hillsboro courthouse, i remember mom, who got all dressed up, saying, ‘oh this is so exicitng!’

Mom's various kitchens in the over 25 houses they owned, usually had pencil marks on one of the walls where she kept track of growing kids, grandkids and great grandkids....and photos and artwork on the fridge.









Dorothy & DavidDorothy Carson and David
Dorothy Carson & David
Dorothy Carson and David

Dorothy Carson with Fish

Dorothy Carson and Luke
Sometimes i sat with her in the evenings, not even needing to talk just enjoying being in each other's company. i remember getting a haircut when i was in first grade in Palos Verdes, California,and hearing the barbers talk about how pretty my mom was. i remember she never told me when she had breast cancer or was even going into the hospital..and years later would only tell me of health issues with her or my dad after they had been fixed... she didn't want me to worry, something i am very good at. I often found out about bad stuff only after it had already been resolved. i don't remember her ever missing a sporting event of mine growing up.

When i had my first son Luke, i was living in New york city.

Soon after they heard Luke was born, she wrote me saying they were flying out to NYC, from the west coast, to “help with the baby”  already in her 70’s , they did, she was a great help, and we had a great visit.

She followed all her grandkids news and accomplishments, and never missed a birthday or holiday card or greeting. i don't think she worried too much about the past or future, it seemed to me she lived most her life in the present.. she was big on surprises,and remained adventurous and up for new adventures her entire life. and the smiling. it was just such a part of who she was. on my last visit with her, she told me everyone says i always have a smile for them, and I told her, yes, that's your job here, to offer your smile to so many who might need and appreciate it....she just smiled .

When i had hundreds of facebook friends write her and wish her a happy birthday on her email, she replied to each and every one of them, hundreds who wrote her....and remained friends with some of them the rest of her life.



She took bad news wisely and graciously, and got to work doing what needed to be done. when my nephew David had his accident, she phoned me and told me they needed me to drive up to Los Angeles to the hospital where David had been taken, and that they would be there as soon as they could, from Oregon. It was so good to see them arrive at the hospital. That hospital visit was the only time i ever saw my dad cry.

She could be strong minded and feisty. she stood up for her family and all she believed in.

The last picture I'll share today is the last one with me and my mom. her last photo, which I'm so proud to have been a part of. she was pleased with the photo, she had just had her hair done and it looked so good, she asked me to help her send it to various family members from her computer. The day before she had suggested we walk to “our spot” in the garden outside, and said she would walk herself, something she hadn't done in many months. Many residents we passed told her how good it was to see her out and about again” .

it would be her last walk outside.

She was very close to my son Luke, they shared a passion for basketball.

He emailed me a week after mom passed, only saying “i miss grandma” .

She never complained, and when she did on my last two visits, i knew it was serious. She wanted to make it to the age 90, as “no one else in her family had”  she said.  she told me she said goodnight to my dad's photo at night, and sang his photo a happy birthday on his last birthday. My 3 year old son carson began life at Cornell Estates, and i like to think he brought some joy to many of you as he often visited his grandma and grandpa. it breaks my heart he will not know them, and them him, as he grows up.

Hopefully from time to time you'll think of Dorothy, and smile. she would like that. and she would smile right back.

David Carson

dorothy_grandchildrenDorothy Carson and grand children